Friday, October 15, 2004
it started off with an early morning.. well, i woke up earlier than the time i normally wakes up.. hmm.. i woke up at 7.30 cos i wanted to go toilet.. but LAZY.. haha. i lie in bed till 7.50am cant tahan.. hmm.. i am really BROKE.. totally.. when ish the band fund going to return me money? haish.. band started and everything wasnt that fine.. my playing deproved alot ar.. i jus dun understand.. really.. why i can play in non-ari conditioned room but not the band room.. G.D.It..
i am gonna PRACTICE.. anyway after lunch break's sectional was quite good.. keep it up trumpeters..! think i will get sum small little gifts for them.. especially the muslims who pu in their effort even thougth they are fasting.. haish.. but all my trumpeters cannot bring home instrument.. "parents dun allow.. forget to bring home.." EXCUSES..
well.. put up most of the cupboard tags today.. lin yun and purdee did it while i was settling the reeds.. haish.. why didnt i tell them how i felt bout the tags? well.. shouldnt regret now anyway.. hmm.. mr poh says its untidy.. dun understand why i like to push blame and argue.. haish.. with my parents also like that.. i think its time where i do sum reflection los.. hmm.. so for pushing blame i got 15 push ups from mr poh..
went to caltex after band and got snickers.. hmm.. then went home.. today wuite tired.. but when my fren ask me chiong gb with them i suddenly dun feel tired.. but then stupid gb got problem.. dots lo.. yawning non stop now.. eyes closing... but i dun wan to end the day so early.. its still early....
dunno wad kinda feeling i having now.. mixed feeling?! blasting the music in my room.. thank goodness my sis ish outside doing her homework.. haish.. i feel very stressed up these few days.. even screaming doesnt help when i feel depressed i will eat and eat and eat non stop and that ish when i gain weight.. can any one solve my pr0blem? i regret!! i really regret.. many many things that i regret.. thousands of things that i regret.. haish.. guess no one would be able to understand.. cos even i myself dun understand myself fully.. i think eugene understands me more than i do.. but i think the main reason ish that.. i nv question myself b4.. nv question myself why i did things and regret.. wad will happen if i continue to regret forever.. in my life.. in the future.. so many questions in my mind.. its like as if its nv ending.. sumtimes leave ur life to fate.. u can even die sitting on a bustop, walking under a void deck.. wad ish the world going to become? i am so bored.. so so bored.. haish..
[MING TiAN hUI gEN Ha0!!]
[it ish better t0 deserve honours and n0t have them than t0 have them and n0t deserve them]
BLOGGED @ 9:45 PM